I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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