dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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