thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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