nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
