he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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