So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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