I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
