Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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