Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
