i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
