It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
