She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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