There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
