What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
