dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
