I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
