I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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