do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
