Tell her she can't have a vagina
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
