Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
