Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize