Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
