i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
