sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
