Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
