lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
