I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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