Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
