Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
