PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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