batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
