I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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