BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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