someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
