Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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