so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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