He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
