You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
