I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
More tranny stories later!
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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