Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
