sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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