Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
