I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
