everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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