he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
