"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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