I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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