I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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