Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
