Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
