the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
