Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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