I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
