Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
