He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
