Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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