i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
