Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
