If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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