Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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