its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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