the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
