Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
