So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.