This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
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I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
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I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....